My Friday night:
1) Went to some good friends house for "Petros and Babies Night", and had a wonderful time and delightful conversation. HOWEVER, one of the babies was completely enamored of Jack-Jack and was all over him: She was kissing him and hugging him and patting him and couldn't get enough of him and the feeling was definitely reciprocated on Jack's part. About 20 minutes later this baby was running a fever and threw up all over her mama. Found out yesterday that she has strep. Awesome.
2) Driving home, Jack-Jack screamed the whole way, and when I get to the house I have to pee so bad I almost wet my pants just getting him out of the car. I heft him up the stairs in the pouring rain, and dash for the bathroom depositing the still screaming child in the hallway, and the dog starts having a fit on the front porch because he's been alone for like 12 hours. The cat then joins in the fray and starts attacking my feet (while I'm peeing) because he has been trapped in the house all day.
3) I take the still whimpering Jack out of his car seat, wedge the back screen door open, and leave the back door open a crack so the cat can come and go as he pleases. I throw a jacket over the baby's head and walk the dog, and let him in the house while I go to fix the baby some cereal and formula.
4) "WAIT!" You are probably saying. "You left the back door open and the dog is in the house." Yep...while I am fixing the baby's bedtime snack, Buddy escapes and makes his way down to the park to frolic in the rain.
5) Vacillating between praying that Buddy won't get hit by a car and that he will get hit by a car, I go ahead and feed the baby. Then give him his bath in a pitiful attempt to wash off any germs from the other baby, and get him in his jammies. Things are calming down a little and I contemplate a largish bourbon and coke.
6) Then I hear Buddy scratching on the front door (yay! He's ok!) so I let him in...Unfortunately, he is completely covered in mud and soaking wet. He's so excited from his unplanned outing that he proceeds to dash all over the house leaving muddy footprints on: the couch seat, couch cushions, wood floor, and the oriental rug.
7) Hurl Buddy BACK onto the front porch and put the baby in his doorway bouncer. Take the covers off the couch and put them in the washer, leash Buddy and walk him directly from the porch into the bathtub. Give him a bath with about 4 checks on the baby who has now given up bouncing and is just dangling listlessly in the doorway blinking sleepily.
8) Sit down on the couch with the baby and consider bursting into tears and decide that I'm too tired.
9) Husband walks in from working, determines that I have post traumatic stress disorder, and fixes me the largish bourbon and coke.
Seriously - I thought that kind of karma only hit if you killed a puppy or something.
If that's a taste of what it could be like having two children, grandparents, don't be holding your breath for chemayby 2.0....
4 comments:
I laughed till I cried. You, on the other hand, did it exactly the other way around!
Makes a hell of a good story, though, doesn't it? Odd, though: if you laugh about it ten years from now, that will be a mark of wisdom. If you laugh about it while it's happening, it's a sign of insanity. Not fair.
Amen...Still I'll take the laughing kind of insanity over the crying kind any day ;)
I'LL take the largish bourbon and coke!
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